We’re giving notice at the registry office tomorrow!!!
I’m so excited. I need to find something nice to wear and I’ll take a picture. Eee!
Edit: Awkward photos outside the registry office!
We were on page 2 of The Independent today!
Jennifer is an American student at Bangor University in Wales. She is due to enter a civil partnership with her English fiancée Georgia Mannion in July.
“The whole attitude of the state towards civil partnerships seems to be that this is not the same as getting married, that it is more like a promise between friends. That is disappointing because it feels like the romance is being taken out of our big day. I do want to marry my partner for the advantages* it gives. But that does not change the fact that I want to marry my partner because I love her.”
“I’d love my family to come to the wedding ceremony”
*Jenny said “rights” not “advantages”, what she said to the reporter has been paraphrased.
You can read the whole thing here but the piece in the actual paper was better:
Stonewall have introduced The Extension of Marriage to Same-Sex Couples Bill 2012 which would make civil partnerships marriages. It looks interesting. It would mean same-sex couples would have exactly the same rights as married ones.
It’s very short because there aren’t many differences between “marriage” and civil partnerships. The main difference for me is that my civil partnership (to be) feels like everything a marriage is already, I’m just being made to call it something different and THAT is where the split is. It’s that you can’t have a religious civil ceremony (no one can) but then there’s no alternative for same sex couples. There’s also the man from the council who will correct you when you call it a marriage, because it’s not a marriage, it’s different for you because you are different.
If this bill will do anything it’ll make same-sex couples feel more normal. There’s nothing normal about planning a wedding anyway. There’s nothing normal about people fussing over your dress (or suit) or your rings or who is going to throw the bouquet.
Everyone is brought up to expect to get married and taught about the very specific rituals of it. Since there’s no “ritual” expected for same-sex couples it should invoke a kind of freedom, but people still expect all the same things from you. But you aren’t allowed to call it a marriage.
Here’s the link to Stonewall’s bill: http://www.stonewall.org.uk/documents/stonewallmarriagebill.pdf
I’ve just been told “It’s not a marriage” and then what the difference is between a civil partnership and a marriage.
All I have to say is this:
I’m calling it a marriage.
So I’ve done a few searches on Etsy for ideas for favours and come up with some good plans. Today I decided to search “lesbian wedding”. Let me tell you there are some horrific designs floating around out there. I’m officially vetoing anything with a rainbow flag on it.
Things like this are not quite to my taste:
However, I did find some interesting things. Well I found two things I actually liked. The first is this card. I think it’s a cool idea well done:
There’s also this bag which I find hilarious.
You’ll be disappointed to know that I can’t afford to buy everyone one of these and there are no rainbow flags on our invitations. Once I’m happy with the invitations I’ll upload them but for now, I leave you with beauty, the “lady friends” card:
Well, all I did was tweet the link to my blog and suddenly I have 200 views and my (soon to be) mother-in-law knows about this despite Jenny’s embarrassment about the web address. Aren’t you an eager lot? Thank you for all being so nice about this. No one’s tried to scribble “queers” anywhere yet so that’s a major bonus.
Incidentally, the name comes from the first 3 letters of her last name – Kra and the last 3 of mine – ion = Kraion. Is this not a perfect child name? She is reluctant.
Anyway, the point of this was to say hello and thank you and I hope you find this a genuinely informing and occasionally amusing read.
I’m looking into the technical details of the ceremony and almost can’t believe what we have to say. The “Arranging a marriage” section is all “we want this to be a day you’ll remember for the rest of your happily married lives etc etc”, the civil partnership section starts with “The Civil Partnership Act 2004 introduced a new legal relationship for same-sex couples wishing to make a formal, lifelong commitment to each other.” Gosh that’s so liberating. I feel just like this is nothing out of the ordinary…
Here is the actual wording from the section about the ceremony:
Your ceremony will begin with a welcome and introduction by the celebrant who explains that you will be making a formal and public declaration of your love, and a promise of lifelong dedication to each other.
I feel patronised already.
There is an opportunity at this point for a reading.
You will then be invited to make the declarations which you will later sign in your civil partnership schedule. Each of you will be asked to recite the following words:
So that doesn’t sound too bad.
You will each then be invited to make your second declaration as follows:
Your partner and your friend!? God what a strange thing to say. Maybe I’ll add “I promise this is not a phase”.
The moment will then arrive for the exchanging of rings (or gifts). If you are exchanging rings, you will each be asked to place your ring on your partner’s finger and say following words, which may be varied by prior arrangement:
Well I just feel ill. I think it will be being varied, there’s no way I’m calling this our “special day” because I’m not one of Julia Roberts’ patronising friends in Runaway Bride.
There is an opportunity here for a further reading.
We’ll probably choose something from Harry Potter.
The Partnership Registrar will conclude the ceremony with the following form of words:
I hope whoever wrote “optional kiss/hug” felt as uncomfortable writing it as I do reading it.
You will then be presented with your certificate and receive the congratulations of your guests.
Well here’s hoping. I haven’t gotten a certificate for anything in ages so that should be fun.
So my next step is to email and find out exactly how flexible the wording of this is.